April 14, 2004 - 3:01 p.m.
His Blogginess has gotten a rather lively discussion going on the subject of subway groping. I don't remember being physically groped much, but I feel like I suffer from verbal groping way too often. Is anyone else bothered by this? Sometimes (this Monday night, for example) you will get stuck with this dude who seems to have a mental checklist of things he wants to probe with you. Where are you going? Where do you live? (exactly.) Where do you work, where is your boyfriend, do you have a boyfriend, why don't you have a boyfriend where are you coming from when did you finish work where are you from how old are you? Oh and the worst of all, "why don't you smile for me, baby girl?" and things of that ilk. Sorry I am polluting your visual atmosphere with my lack of open body language and good cheer. You might say I should avoid these situations by taking cars at night, but this crap happens to me so often in cars that I actually would rather take my chances on the G train than be alone in a car with a dude who I'm telling my address and has not a lot stopping him from driving me to some quiet spot by an overpass.
Now, I realize they are making a lame attempt to hit on me or merely trying to pass the time, but why are all the questions so intrusive like that? I am alone with you at one in the morning and you are asking me what block I live on and you think that's ok? Unlike physical groping, this kind of probing is not illegal at all and getting upset about is seen as crazy bitchy.
What I need help with, apart from allowing it to bother me, is how to get these people to shut up without making a scene. On Monday, I guess my mistake was sitting on the bench with the guy and half-smiling. Looking away uncomfortably, pausing lengthily, putting up my hood, and reading intently all did not work, so at "where are you from?" I ended up saying "I don't feel like talking." Which made him kinda mad and put out. Not that he yelled, but sometimes they do. I really need some pointers in this area.
