May 14, 2004 - 10:14 a.m.
Anyhoo, last Saturday I went to Mario Badescu and had my very first facial. I even felt compelled to tell the aesthetician: "I've never had a facial before in my whole life!" It was kind of like going to the doctor. Like my doctor and dentist, it's in a fancy midtown apartment building. Unlike them, "Martha Stewart" is written in the appointment spreadsheet. Immediately I wondered if a) somebody had made the appointment as Martha so she'd get a better time slot, (how many times would that work?) or b) they had sprinkled her name around the calendar just for appearances, so everybody coming in would have a chance to go "ooh, Martha comes here! what a good place!" Although at this point, I wonder whether that's good or bad PR. The most plausible explanation is that she goes there a lot. Facials are relaxing, and she could probably use some of that. Also I think that like me, she suffers from adult acne. Maybe it is a sign of greatness. Where is Martha right now? Is she on house arrest?
So also like the doctor, you have to wait in the lobby, and then wait for your technician in your little room, and take off your shirt and put something on, and lie back on a medical chair with white paper on it. Like the dentist, there's a weird contraption gurgling next to the chair. This is the facial steamer. She steamed my face and then squeezed at it. Squeezing is bad though, right? I wondered if I should tell her to stop. At one point she put hand lotion on me and then covered my hands with mittens made out of material similar to that smock you wear when you get a dental x-ray. She left me to sit for 10 minutes with a mask and these mittens on, and the mittens got all heated up, which I guess served some purpose. All in all, it was a mysterious and magical process, which is I suppose the point. I guess my face is looking better, I can never really tell. I got a sample of some cream that you put on your pimples in the morning. At night you attack them with harsh drying agents. Then in the morning you comfort them with this stuff. It's like giving them a hug after all their hard work. Like saying "goodbye, I wish you well, sorry I couldn't let you stay, I hope you understand." If this product were made by Origins I guess it would say that on the label.
